“If you think you are too small to make a difference,
try sleeping with a mosquito.”
― The Dalai Lama
Thoughts control all aspects of our lives, good or bad. Let me start with an example:
“She is so beautiful! She would never go out with a bum like me!”
Did she go out with you? No. Why? You did not even ask!!! You had already convinced yourself that it would not happen. So, it was your thought that caused your action, or in this case inaction. The woman in the example did not even know you were interested to say yes or no! AND your thought was exactly right; she is not going out with you. This is the same in every situation in life. It does not mean that she will say yes or no, but you did not even give her the chance! And the chance makes all the difference.
Dr. Stephen Covey, entrepreneur of the year and author of the bestselling 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, teaches his SEE – DO – GET model which is exactly what we are talking about. It looks like this:
When talking about this, Dr. Covey explains that it is the way we see the world, or our paradigms, are the root of effectiveness. What is effective? Simply getting what you want over and over. Let me show you how it works. The way you SEE something has a direct effect on the actions you take or things you DO. The actions you take have a very substantial impact on the results you GET. The results you get then form the way you see the action as a whole; such as if you got a good result, next time you will be more likely to do the same action again. If the result was not so great, then you will be a lot less likely to try it again.
Here is a prime example that comes directly from my life: Dieting. Ugh! I know…wait…did I just express how I SEE dieting? Very much so. Let us go through it though. I’ve tried changing my behaviors alone such as “I’m going to eat less. PERIOD!” or “I’m going to go jogging for 3 miles a day!” Those are great goals, but after a week or two, I am sitting on the couch watching reality TV with a half-gallon of ice cream covered in chocolate shell. Changing behavior will last for a short while, but not for the long term that we want.
The problem is, I see food as a reward for being a good boy; something like “man, I really rocked that interview! I’m going out for a steak dinner!” Food is also my boredom fix. I love to grab a bag of chips late at night or something sweet. I get lonely and bored at night and food is an emotional substitute for people at times…a lot of the times.
I need to change how I see food as a whole. It is simply fuel for the body. It is not a replacement for people or a reward, it is just fuel. Once I change how I see it, then the behavior changes automatically. I do not need to eat late at night because I am bored. I need to go to bed and have a good breakfast. I do not need to reward myself with food for something I should have done anyhow. It is not a reward really; it is an excuse.
Once the behavior changes due to the new outlook on food, I begin to lose weight and get the results I want. Which, very quickly, reinforces my paradigm of food is only fuel.
Change the way we SEE the things in our lives and it will change the actions we DO which changes the results we GET.
Your homework, till tomorrow, is to add a comment to this post with one paradigm you want to change the way you view it.
“The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms.”
With all my love! Namaste!